I feel your pain and will share some deep shit:
YouTube Audiobooks
1. TAO ☯️ TE CHING (Lao Tzu)
2. THE ART OF PEACE (M. Ueshiba)
Things to Google:
1. KOTOTAMA as written about by M. Nakozono
See: Kototama books website
Kindle Books:
1. Zen Macrobiotics by G. OHSAWA
2. The Book of Macrobiotics by Michio Kushi
3. Essential Ohsawa by G. Ohsawa
Youtube Videos
1. Michio Kushi... use CC; closed captioning
Kototama and Macrobiotics and Aiki are the sum and substance of human capacity
I have started and lost many businesses, and my first business was ghost writing in a SUNY and dropped out of law school my 2nd year.
My resume has 30 jobs over 33 years.
The Japanese have a saying:
9 times down
10 times up
And please learn Wu Wei or the art of flow
I am praying 🙏 you realize your inner divinity ☯️